Don't Despise The Stages Before You Turn Into A Butterfly

Have you ever noticed the earlier stages of the butterfly? Eggs are laid, then there is the caterpillar, followed by the chrysalis. The caterpillar phase entails a lot of eating. The newborn caterpillar starts by eating its very own egg shell and then goes on to eat as much leaves as possible. It is said that they usually grow one hundred times more in size compared to the time they emerged from the egg. The eating is necessary to prepare it for its next stage. It has gathered every bit of energy needed due to excessive eating to last for the time it is in the chrysalis form.

The chrysalis forms when the caterpillar’s skin is shed and a hard layer is formed around the body (pupa) to protect it from the outside. In that phase this is where all the transformation takes place.

My life experiences can be compared to the caterpillar phase. This is where we live and our experiences are stored as data in our mind. This data, whether it was collected from good or bad experiences, is needed to move forward in the direction we intend to go. The irony is that some of us never learn from our life experiences and we find ourselves spinning in circles and not reaching a desired destination. The fact of the matter is that our experiences should be seen as food eaten to be processed when we are in our 'chrysalis' phase. 

The ‘chrysalis’ of our life is that phase where we analyze what we have been through, things that we have learnt along the way and put things into perspective for better future decision making. This is the phase where we get our act together. This is the period where goals are set and we carefully analyze how to get there. This is the time of truth and self acceptance.  This the time where transformation takes place! This is where you turn into a beautiful butterfly.

In the butterfly phase, our beauty can be seen (I am not referring to physical beauty), eggs are laid. For us humans, I will say our fruits are shown and our fruits can be a blessing to others. This phase can also represent a time of multiplication or increase. It can also be a time where we act with intent and not live our lives randomly. It is a time where our actions have purpose or lead to specific goals. It is that time where we are our true selves with no intent of being people pleasers but satisfying our inner calling. It is that time to be the authentic you.

In essence, embrace your phases and mentally process your experiences the correct way. We might just end up transforming into a beautiful butterfly!

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_trini_gyal        @keturahgamba

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my facebook fanpage @keturahgamba

Keturah as an Artist

If you guys did not know I am an artist. I started singing in 2015. My first song was a cover of Anita Baker's Sweet Love. I have done a few songs after that cover. Some of the songs listed below were written by other writers (credits wil be given above the songs)

There are definite future plans to bring new music to the market for you to enjoy.  When you click on the videos you will see that I do different genres and I will continue to do different genres. I have no plans to limit myself to a specific genre. It is expected to see a Trinidadian performing soca but I beg to differ which is visible in my music.

Click on the videos and links below and feel free to comment and share!

Sweet Love Cover 2015 produced by Pengco Music

Lonely 2015 Produced by Pengco Music

Like Sinatra 2016 Produced and Written by Pengco Music

Vendetta 2017 Produced and Written by Pengco Music

You Belong To Me 2017 Produced by Tuff Nut Studios

Lose Control 2018 Produced by Badjohn Republic Written by Keegan Taylor

I Am Woman 2018 Produced by Anthony Woodroffe Snr.

Target 2018 Produced and Written by Aaron Outlaw Music 

Wine Up 2019 Produced by WMG Lab

Feel It Produced by CNMG Records

#nowplaying Feel It by Keturah Gamba via @audiomack https://audiomack.com/cmmgrecords/song/feel-it

Check out the link below ⬇️⬇️⬇️

https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/keturah-gamba/id1038931857

A Single Sis Talking About Wholeness

I believe what I am going to say, everyone probably knows but see this as a reminder.

If you think that prince charming or Joan of arc is going to come and sweep you off your feet think again! Because there is the great possibility that your new hero is going to be wonderful in some ways and messed up in others (no one is perfect). 

We keep looking for that one to make our lives better. If you are unhappy with yourself when you are single getting a partner will not make much of a difference, most likely you will still be unhappy. You might even have the power to turn your partner into a sad sour puss also. Do you know that people’s behaviour rub off on each other? Birds flock with birds, drunks lime with drunks, scholars associate with other scholars, musicians link with other musicians and the list goes on and on. 

I am not saying to live your life without partnership but be a whole person that seeks another whole person. If you are an half empty glass and your partner is full, you  are going to start emptying their glass to fill you up, resulting in them being half empty. The solution to that is to be filled up so that you compliment your partner and vice versa. 

This concept does not apply to lovers only but can be applied to any type of relationship!

Since we are on this topic of complimenting each other and adding value to one another, I will go there. STOP WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO INVEST IN YOU! If you don’t have the courage to invest in yourself, do you think someone else will do it? Invest in yourself, whether it be a course, developing natural skills, learning something new or earning some cash to inject in a business idea you would like to bring into fruition. There is a magic in making the first move. When you start to help yourself, the creator is going to fill loopholes and sometimes even bless you abundantly. Life will work for you! Life is going to put people, resources or anything in your path that will assist you on your journey (this is a natural law of life). On that journey you might even find the partner who can compliment you and you will compliment them also.

All that was said above is my personal opinion but let us get into some facts. To be fulfilled and have value or add value to others you must be WHOLE. (It is very important to know that you CANNOT add value to everyone since each individual has their own tribe and calling). There are more points than what was written above to becoming a whole person. What I mentioned prior can be placed in categories of social, psychological and professional development. However, these are some other categories that everyone should work on when pursuing your journey to wholeness. Below I am going to put them in categories including the points I wrote before.

• Emotional- Emotional intelligence determines how someone processes what is happening and determines  their reaction to situations.

• Physical- Taking  care of your body via physical exercise and healthy eating. Have you ever noticed when you eat healthy, your body feels better or that when you exercise you get more energy?

• Spiritual- Having a connection to the creator and life around you. This can be done in many ways (yoga, prayer, meditation, etcetera).

• Social- Having healthy interaction with others is important since relationships are needed in family life, business, friendships and even day to day interactions with strangers. Social also includes knowing a time when it is necessary to cut off people.

• Psychological- knowing who you are and accepting your self. The only way someone can change behaviour is by knowing who they are (not the image you wear for the public but really knowing who you are at the core).

• Professional- Finding that activity you were meant to do in life. This leads to happiness while working and financial rewards.

The point I am making boils down to one thing. BE WHOLE! If you are not whole as yet like myself, continue on that journey to wholeness!

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_normal_trini_gyal

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my fanpage @keturahgamba

The Raging Muddy Water Is Needed For Your Soul

If you didn’t know, I am from an amazing valley. The beautiful valley of Maracas, St. Joseph which is nestled in the Northern Range of Trinidad. In any village you will find springs, falls, rivers all through out. What is also amazing is the fact that almost every valley on the northern range is linked to each other by some sort of trail.

It is breath taking when the watercourses are flowing and clean. There is an appreciation of nature and the beauty around. However, there comes a time when the rain falls and when that happens things can get really messy. Raging muddy water flows and can pull anything in its course. Sometimes the rain can be continuous for days but when the sun comes out, the flowing water eventually subsides and then gets cleaner. Prior to the rain when the sun was shining, have you ever noticed how the water starts to gather moss in its channel, it gets shallow and the waterflow slows down. In that period it also serves its purpose of feeding the creatures that live there but the beauty of the environment and water channels deteriorate. Are you seeing where I am going with this? Eventually the rain falls, the water rages and gets all dirty and we wonder why this is happening? This is natural my friends! The raging muddy water is also fulfilling its purpose. Doesn’t something about that whole situation sounds familiar? It is very equivalent to life. Every human on this planet can relate if they listen carefully to what I am saying.

People have this warped thinking that things are suppose to run smoothly but how can there be growth if there are no challenges to ensure character building. The raging muddy waters of life (challenges) are definitely needed. The water eventually gets cleaner and deeper after everything abates. Challenges build character, wisdom, and mental/ emotional strength. Situations and occurrences can be extremely difficult at times but look at it from another perspective, once we prevail and overcome that challenge there will be the sweet taste of victory. In order to have this victory, we must have these qualities inculcated in our psyche: TENACITY….PATIENCE….CREATIVITY….OPTIMISM….MEDITATION/PRAYER… Also building a connection to the force that allows both the sun to shine and the rain to fall (I mean that metaphorically and literally) is neccessary.

I want you to remember that I said before that almost every valley in the Northern Range is linked by some trail. We may enjoy a specific valley now but there will definitely come a time when the rain will fall and the water will get raging and muddy. When we understand the purpose and life lesson of the rain and muddy water in that present valley, the raging waters will then get calm and as a result we can now elevate or move on to another life valley. This is how we evolve/grow and build character.  

Listen to an amazing point! The rain never stopped in the valley you left behind. You grew so much that it doesn't have an effect on you anymore. However, remember you will always have some rain to deal with in the future while going through your various life valleys. All you have to do is keep pushing!

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_normal_trini_gyal

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my fanpage @keturahgamba

Credits: picture taken from shutterstock.com

Is there something call Marital Rape or Rape between cohabitating couples

My major reason for doing this particular blog is premised on a conversation I had with a guy some time aback. Not the entire conversation but a few words registered with me. This is how it went:

Me: “So if your woman does not want to have sex with you what would you do?”

Guy: “ I will take it. I am doing everything in the relationship and she doesn’t want to give me sex! No! I am taking it.”

To be honest, I was totally disgusted by his reply. In addition to that it was a trigger. A trigger reminding me of the few ‘fools’ I have encountered in past relationships. Particularly one situation. I am heterosexual but it is important to note that this can occur in homosexual relationships also. I have personally witnessed this issue with a lesbian couple. They were my neighbors and one of them confided in me. As a result, I would assume that there is the possibility of this same type of abuse happening with two men in a relationship (if i am wrong leave a comment below). After all, we all are humans so it is expected.

Let us delve a bit deeper. Usually when one partner thinks that they have a right to violate the other sexually, that individual has the tendency to be abusive or is a monster manipulator. Answer this question.

Would a non violent person forcefully take sex from you?

When I listened to testimonials of wives being raped and beaten by their partners, they had one thing in common. The male started by being emotionally or verbally abusive. In other cases it started with the emotional or verbal abuse accompanied by a slap occasionally. Then one day the life changing event occurred. The abuser got an excuse to be triggered and then beats and performs various sexual activities without consent. In most cases, the abusee is fearful at the point in time when the violation takes place. As a result, the abusee submits to the rape and pray that they live through that terrifying moment. In most of the marital sexual abuse stories I perused I notice that justice only happened after the nightmare was over because they could not have retaliated at the point in time due to the fact that they were the weaker party. In most cases they are weaker physically and also mentally. Also the abuser usually has some sort of psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies.

After all this is a blog, let me tell you a personal story. I remembered I was in a very unhealthy situation and one night the abuser wanted to regain power so he attacked me and forced his penis into my rectum. Yes, you heard right! That was horrifying! That situation was dealt with but the fact is that I could not have dealt with the situation there and then because I was physically weaker.

So this leads us to some other points! You hear foolish statements like:

1. If he doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t    

        love me (worst one of all the possible  

        reasons)

2. Well, we are married or he is doing  

        everything for me so he have the right for 

        sex

3. Well, the bible says you should not  

        deprive your partner of sex

Firstly, love is not abusive or takes advantage of another. Secondly, a marriage is a relationship that is premised on trust, understanding, respect, compromise and love. Thirdly, the bible do suggest that we not withhold sex from our partner unless you agree to do so but the same bible says that males should love their wives with a self sacrificing love and that wives should respect their husbands. Trust me, self sacrificing love and respect don’t add up to another partner raping and beating the other!

Also, it is UNLAWFUL to forcefully take sex from someone even if you are married or cohabitating. I will say it again. It is unlawful to forcefully take sex (rape) from someone even if you are married or cohabitating!  

The following is an excerpt from https://caribbean.unwomen.org/en/caribbean-gender-portal/caribbean-gbv-law-portal/gbv-country-resources/trinidad-and-tobago

“Previously the law only recognised that sexual intercourse between husband and wife could  be non consensual in very limited circumstances, including where there was a separation  or a decree nisi  was in effect.  The law now fully recognizes rape within marriage and makes no distinction between non consensual sexual intercourse between persons who are married or cohabiting…...”

In essence, take heed to what I am going to say following this sentence. Abuser, you have a problem therefore you should seek help through counselling or seek help in whatever way you can that best suits you. To the abusee, if you are in that situation seek help from both friends and legal advisors. Abusee, if you intend to stay in that situation and you could do better, wake up, seek professional counselling to figure out where the root of the problem lies and burn it straight to the core.

At the end of the day, our journey is to be better people, to be a better version of ourselves today than yesterday. This blog wasn’t to ridicule anyone but for us to be better. As I said in my prior blog, I will say it again, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

#abuse #marraige #commonlaw #sex #rape #powerstruggle #selfworth #growth

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_normal_trini_gyal

@keturahgamba

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my fanpage @keturahgamba

The Beauty of Authenticity

"Alot of people play roles just to fit in a crowd they were never meant to be part of but your job is to be the most authentic you could possibly be. It is an ongoing process to evolving!"

#authenticity #thoughtsfromatrinigyal #real

Keturah Gamba

What do you think?

Look out for my next blog concerning this topic! Do you think it's possible for someone to be raped in their marriage or common law situation?

Remember to check out the following pages on instagram

@thoughts_from_trini_gyal

@keturahgamba

Facebook

Keturah Gamba

Keturah (fan page)

Turn your back on the past

Have you ever remembered any of your past experiences and you got this feeling of anxiety? One of the definitions of anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. The definition of anxiety implies that you feel anxious about an uncertain outcome which points to the future. But it is important to note that there can be feelings of anxiety over past events. That my friend, is an anxiety trigger!

Why do we experience this specific anxiety trigger (remembering past events)? Negative events can lead to negative thinking. I don't know if you realize this but the strange thing is that the majority of our past mishaps, we charged right into them like a raging bull. Even after we recover, sometimes we still taunt ourselves thinking of those mishaps. Those situations probably occured due to low self worth or lack of experience or knowledge which led to us doing crap or accepting crappy situations from others. So why the trigger now?

If you are doing better and the probability of you finding yourself in that past situation again is really low, what the anxiety is about?  Feel good about now, forgive yourself and someone else if you have to and just move along! It sounds simple but it is not that simple for everyone. As we know everyone psyche is built differently therefore emotional healing will vary. The fact of the matter is that we must do what is necessary for self healing and peace.

Try the following for self healing:

• Use relaxation techniques like meditation,      yoga, deep breathing
• Seek Professional Counselling
• Reassure yourself with positive  affirmations
• Accept the fact that you are not in control of everything. Some things just happen and is not in your control like the environment you were born into or the people that you may have encountered
• Acceptance that the past is exactly what  it is. THE PAST!

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_trini_gyal

#selfhealing #introspection #innerpeace #forgiveness #past #meditation 

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my fanpage @keturahgamba

I will be discussing Taboo Topics

This blog will be expressing issues that people would not dream  of speaking about. You know those realities that are not spoken of like lost religous believes due to slavery, domestic abuse, incest, mental illness and the list goes on.

Don't be terrified....there will also be entertainment, music, home decor ideas and some stuff to cheer you up! Don't forget beautiful quotes by yours truly, MOI!

I can't wait to get feedback from you guys!

STAY TUNED

Keturah Gamba

Blessing of Time

"People underestimate the blessing of time. Never take a moment in time for granted. Use time wisely because your next day, hour, minute or second is not promised!"

Keturah Gamba

#forevergrateful #thoughtsfromatringyal