Sometimes
we women put ourselves in situations or continually practice self-destroying behaviors
that does not add value to our being. When I say value: are our lives,
personality, mentality, emotions, improving? Or is it a continuous downward
spiral? Life is not going to be a bed of
roses or no challenges to be encountered but overall, if you look at your life
five years prior and compare it to now, have you improved in any way? These
improvements whether big or small is what gives us value. I said it! There are
high value people and low value people. Please note that this value is not premised
on the amount of money in your bank account or the type of car you drive or how
beautiful you are but this value is something that starts mentally and is
eventually reflected in your physical world. I have been asking my self this
question for the past few days: “Keturah, how much do you value yourself? This blog is specific to women, there are certain things that gives us value! Let me
name a few below:
Investing
in yourself- you can invest in yourself in various ways. This can be done via
educating yourself. This does not have to be formal knowledge only such as a degree or
masters (have you ever seen an ‘educated fool’?) but reading books that will
assist in your personal, mental, emotional and spiritual growth. Investing in
your inherent talents is important. Investing in that business idea you always
had after proper planning and evaluating. Allowing people to
invest in you is also important because most people would not invest in
something if it's not worth it.
Choosing your company wisely- the people you associate with can either add value to you or take it away. It’s a fact! Have you ever been in the company of individuals and you felt as if it was a total waste of your time and energy or a waste of your resources? I believe that one should associate with people that you can learn from. Anything can be learnt from anyone or any situation, there are lessons in everything if you observe carefully. I have personally learned lessons in places where people wouldn’t expect me to be. I have learned lessons on the streets/ the block, from older women who lived promiscuous lives not because they wanted to but that was how they survived. You put me anywhere and trust me, I am going to learn something! Nevertheless, the real point that I am making here is that your core friends/ associates will definitely influence the trajectory of your life so it is very important to choose your core wisely.
This point is very important! The men you choose can either add or lessen your value and this is true on so many different levels!
Level One: I
have seen people enter relationships and were drained emotionally or
financially. One of the most obvious signs to tell when a woman is unhappy in a
relationship is if that woman physically looked better before that relationship
and then she looks a horrid mess while in the relationship. Most of the
times when you see this, she is being drained and this lessens her value. Her value is not lessened because of the outside world's observation about her but because of how she perceives herself. If you value yourself, would you stay in a relationship that drains you?
Level Two:
I have seen women be lenient with men’s actions that is unacceptable and they
do this in the name of love or do this in the hope of a better future with the
man. This my dear is taking away from your value. It takes away in the sense that
you accept behavior that is below the standard that you have set for yourself
or what you think you are worthy of or what would make you happy. If I see
something that disturbs me I speak about it. If the action doesn’t change I have no choice but to act accordingly. I don’t believe on waiting for men to do right by you, if they
know your value they will do right by you. Why tolerate someone that does not
appreciate or know your value. When you tolerate unacceptable behavior, you devalue yourself as a woman.
I believe in loving yourself before loving anybody else.
Level Three:
Most of the times, when a man is genuinely into you, they invest in you (this
is not only financially). They invest their time, efforts, they try figuring
out solutions to your problems, they invest their resources and the list goes
on and on. Please know, that women also
invest their energy and resources into a man they love, it is not a one-way
street! But anytime, you notice that a man is not investing in you and
you are giving out your energy to him my dear, you are devaluing yourself because this
plainly says that you do not know your worth and will accept any shitty behavior.
I said what I said, if you beg to differ please comment below.
There
are other factors that adds value to a woman:
- The way she physically maintains herself
- The way she treats others
- She stands up for herself but with respect
- She sets goals and tries her best to achieve them
- She doesn’t compare herself to others but to her old self and understands that life is a work in progress
- She understands that she is walking her
own unique journey
Probably
my list could go on and on. If you have any thoughts as to what makes a high
value woman, please share in the comments section below.
As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life.
Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_trini_gyal @keturahgamba
I am also an artist, be sure to check out my facebook fanpage @keturahgamba
