It's Okay Not To Have It All!

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“You cannot be everything at one particular point in time. Don’t kill yourself by trying to spread yourself to thin”

Sometimes we try to be everything, pushing ourselves past limitations, being the best that we can possibly be but when doing this be realistic. We live in a world where people publish their accomplishments and happiest moments but they never post failures. They rarely make known the resources they had available to them. Few people speak about the things they would have gone through to reach where they are today. Then again, some people were born into wealth or situations where they have a greater advantage than the majority. Watching these things can make someone, who is already thinking they haven’t accomplished much, feel as they are not doing good enough or is less than but I have some questions for you:

 Are you trying your best?

Are you utilizing all the resources that is available to you to ensure growth?

Are you evolving your thinking?

Are you ridding bad habits?

Are you overcoming despite your circumstances?

Are you positively a different person compare to some years ago?

If the answers to those questions were yes, give yourself a round of applause!

I am doing this blog because I want to encourage those who are thinking that they are not doing enough. I implore you to consider your resources/ background and if you are doing the best with what you have available give yourself a pat on the back. On the other hand, don’t make excuses! You will know if you have put your best foot forward. The old folks have this saying, “let your conscience be your guide”

Sometimes when you think you are not doing enough, you foolishly overwork yourself and keep going around in circles. I want you to think about what I am going to say. Do you know that you can try too hard and still never reach anywhere? I suggest trying one thing at a time and give that one thing your all. When you have accomplished that one thing then move to the other. However, if you are capable of handling more than one endeavor, go right ahead.  

Sometimes we want to have it all but is that realistic? Let me give a personal example. I cannot be a devoted mother, employee of the year, a socialite, a musical artist, an investor and an extreme money saver all the same time. I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN! This means that prioritizing is the key. Do what is most needed at a particular point in time and put one hundred percent of your energy there. When dealing with a full plate, if one hundred percent focus is placed on one or a few things then there is the probability of the other things turning into a potential disaster. This now leaves us with the option of balancing things or for a better phrase, the application of time management. Time management can take you quite a long way.

It is important to notice the following. A lot of folks who have a great number of responsibilities and handle all well, seem to have a great support system. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong. Hence the reason why I try not to beat up on myself since I fight my battles all alone and I will continue to do so until the war is over.

In addition to above, please remember that not everyone is the same and that each of us has a unique lane to walk on. Once you are moving forward on your lane, give yourself some credit and feel good. You may not be at the ultimate end goal but there are a lot of small accomplishments that will lead you to the end goal. Once something has been accomplished, celebrate it, be grateful and keep pushing. Remember do not compare yourself to someone who is walking on a totally different lane to you. Nevertheless, we can observe another person’s journey for reference. We do not only learn from self-analyzation but by also observing others.

I have inserted this video below, please listen

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_trini_gyal  @keturahgamba

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my facebook fanpage @keturahgamba

Video Credit: The Star youtube channel

 

 

Honey Don't Be A Fool

 

Have you ever noticed that woman? Oh yes, I have. She has everything going for her. She is on the path to her desired career, making her own money, seeing about her wellbeing, going towards her goals! I see that glow honey but then he comes along……

 

“I have seen women abandon their dreams to exist in the shadows of men who only care about themselves. Honey don’t be a fool!”

Keturah Gamba

 

The above already describes the scenario, as a result, I am only going to highlight the points that women should see in men and vice versa before entering a committed relationship:

Respect

It is so crucial for your partner to have respect for you but respect cannot be given unless it is earned. Have a partner who respects your beliefs and values.

Independence

You came into this world alone and most likely you will leave this world alone. Your partner must allow your independence since each individual has their own goals. You can never have individual fulfilment if you are walking in someone else’s shadow. Walk towards your light (dream) and cast your own shadow. It is also required of you to allow your partner to be independent and pursue their dreams. On the topic of independence it should be noted that independence should not lead to you abandoning each other but YOU ALL ARE STILL A TEAM!

 

Assisted Growth

As mentioned before, individuality is required but you all are a team. One partner should be able to motivate the other and provide an environment for the other to thrive. The growth of each partner helps the entire unit to be stronger. This brings us to the point of a shared future vision.

Share Your Future Vision

This is like wanting hot tea but it is being kept in the refrigerator or like ice cream being placed on a stove top. It is obvious that those two could never go hand in hand. There must be something in common that keeps the two of you together and that is the only way assisted growth can be attained.

Compromise

Compromise can only happen when you understand each other or have the ability to empathize. The ability to walk in your partner’s shoe is important because this will give you an idea of the way they see things through their lens. This leads to better team decision making and coming to agreements that may be satisfying for both partners rather than one

Honesty/ Trust

Who wants to have a future with someone that cannot be honest? Honesty leads to trust. It is always a beautiful thing to know that you can take someone’s word when they say something. It may not be what you would like to hear all the time but it is better to know where things stand in a relationship. When this occurs, you would always know what are the things to work on.

Responsible

Be responsible for your actions and do not play the blame game. Also, take necessary actions to correct any error made.

Emotional Maturity /Intelligence

I see a lot of couples dwelling on issues that are not important because of the lack of emotional intelligence to ignore factors that are not important in a relationship. The capability to move past something is so important. Try not to make something out of nothing! DO NOT BRING PASS EXPERIENCES AND BAGGAGE INTO A RELATIONSHIP. LEARN FROM THE PAST, HEAL AND GROW.

The above are some qualities/ traits I thought about when allowing a potential partner into your life. Ladies, we cannot be one sided. The things that we expect from our partners we should also practise.

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_trini_gyal  @keturahgamba

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my facebook fanpage @keturahgamba

Photo credit: domesticviolenceinfo.ca/types-of-abuse