Honey Don't Be A Fool

 

Have you ever noticed that woman? Oh yes, I have. She has everything going for her. She is on the path to her desired career, making her own money, seeing about her wellbeing, going towards her goals! I see that glow honey but then he comes along……

 

“I have seen women abandon their dreams to exist in the shadows of men who only care about themselves. Honey don’t be a fool!”

Keturah Gamba

 

The above already describes the scenario, as a result, I am only going to highlight the points that women should see in men and vice versa before entering a committed relationship:

Respect

It is so crucial for your partner to have respect for you but respect cannot be given unless it is earned. Have a partner who respects your beliefs and values.

Independence

You came into this world alone and most likely you will leave this world alone. Your partner must allow your independence since each individual has their own goals. You can never have individual fulfilment if you are walking in someone else’s shadow. Walk towards your light (dream) and cast your own shadow. It is also required of you to allow your partner to be independent and pursue their dreams. On the topic of independence it should be noted that independence should not lead to you abandoning each other but YOU ALL ARE STILL A TEAM!

 

Assisted Growth

As mentioned before, individuality is required but you all are a team. One partner should be able to motivate the other and provide an environment for the other to thrive. The growth of each partner helps the entire unit to be stronger. This brings us to the point of a shared future vision.

Share Your Future Vision

This is like wanting hot tea but it is being kept in the refrigerator or like ice cream being placed on a stove top. It is obvious that those two could never go hand in hand. There must be something in common that keeps the two of you together and that is the only way assisted growth can be attained.

Compromise

Compromise can only happen when you understand each other or have the ability to empathize. The ability to walk in your partner’s shoe is important because this will give you an idea of the way they see things through their lens. This leads to better team decision making and coming to agreements that may be satisfying for both partners rather than one

Honesty/ Trust

Who wants to have a future with someone that cannot be honest? Honesty leads to trust. It is always a beautiful thing to know that you can take someone’s word when they say something. It may not be what you would like to hear all the time but it is better to know where things stand in a relationship. When this occurs, you would always know what are the things to work on.

Responsible

Be responsible for your actions and do not play the blame game. Also, take necessary actions to correct any error made.

Emotional Maturity /Intelligence

I see a lot of couples dwelling on issues that are not important because of the lack of emotional intelligence to ignore factors that are not important in a relationship. The capability to move past something is so important. Try not to make something out of nothing! DO NOT BRING PASS EXPERIENCES AND BAGGAGE INTO A RELATIONSHIP. LEARN FROM THE PAST, HEAL AND GROW.

The above are some qualities/ traits I thought about when allowing a potential partner into your life. Ladies, we cannot be one sided. The things that we expect from our partners we should also practise.

As the name of the blog says, these are just thoughts from a normal trini gyal. I am not a professional but I have lived and gained experience from life. 

Check out on instagram @thoughts_from_a_trini_gyal  @keturahgamba

I am also an artist, be sure to check out my facebook fanpage @keturahgamba

Photo credit: domesticviolenceinfo.ca/types-of-abuse